According to men, there is no greater mystery in the world than women. Men have always suspected that women feel exactly the same to be true about men.
This is most relevant when it comes to dating. Men and women never seem to think about dating the same way and usually have trouble understanding what the opposite sex wants. Even worse, we are almost all guilty of not talking about those differences, which means the mystery remains and dating is harder than it should be.
If you are a woman trying to understand men, especially when it comes to dating, here are a few tips, straight from the horse's mouth, about how guys approach dating.
We Like Action
This isn't just a reference to our favorite movie genre. When it comes to social activities, men usually prefer to be actively doing something. This can be as simple as playing a card game or as complex as climbing a mountain. This is also the reason that men generally prefer to drive, especially if the date includes relatively sedentary activities like eating dinner and watching a movie.
If you are planning a date, keep this in mind. A date at a museum or a zoo is unlikely to entertain most men. This kind of date works a lot better if you can bookend it with something active, like a bike ride to the date location, or include some sort of activity at the location, like a scavenger hunt. These little touches add the action that most men crave.
And not to get too crude, but this rule also applies to intimacy. Men like to move their hands, their mouths, etc, and prefer that women do the same. This doesn't mean you have to cross lines you are uncomfortable with, just that it is better to lightly massage a man's hand than simply hold it.
We Are Terrified of Screwing Up
Almost since birth, men have been inundated with the idea that women have their choice of men. It isn't really true, but it is a trope that television and movies have perpetrated for years.
As a result, men are terrified that even one little mistake will cause a woman to dump them. As a result, men usually try to play it very safe on dates and show very little of their true self.
The moral of the story is this. If you think that your date seems kind of shallow and wonder if there is more hiding under the surface, there probably is. He is just too worried about screwing up the relationship to show it to you. The best way to avoid half a dozen or so dates like this is to tackle the issue from the first date. Set him at ease that you want him to be honest and open and won't drop him for a single mistake.
With just a little confidence boost, he'll reveal his true self. And, yes, it would be nice if we were all confident to begin with, but years of bad advice and terrible media examples has created an unfortunate situation.
We Want to Be Seen on a Date
From the very first date, we generally prefer our dates to be in public places, where we will be seen by others. You aren't a trophy (at least not to any man worth dating), but your willingness to date us is effectively a life achievement on par with Nobel Prize for many men. Thus, if it seems like a man is going out of his way to show off that he is on a date, he probably is. If you aren't comfortable with this, say something early, because he probably thinks being on a date is something that you both should think of as a point of pride.
We Don't Want You Talking to Our Male Friends
This probably looks like a jealousy thing, and honestly, sometimes it is, but more often than not that isn't the reason. The reason that we don't want you talking to our male friends is because we reveal things to you that we don't reveal to them. Hypermasculinity is a plague that isn't going away any time soon. As a result, we simply don't talk about certain things with our male friends.
On the other hand, once we trust you (and get past that awkward fear of screwing up mentioned earlier), we tell you secrets that reveal softer traits about us. We are always worried, though, that you might accidentally mention our love for Celine Dion in casual conversation.