Dating a divorced guy comes with quite a few unexpected perks. He's typically more mature than never-been-marrieds, he's far less likely to play head games with you and he has a deeper appreciation of what it takes to make a relationship work. However, a romantic relationship with someone who has gone through a divorce has a few unique dynamics. Keep reading to discover 4 tips for success when dating a divorced guy.
1. Don't Act Like You're Doing Him a Favour
So he's been through the wringer, having endured an ugly, painful divorce with a crazy ex-spouse who made his life miserable. Out of the overflowing kindness of your heart, you've chosen to bestow your affection on a soul as broken and undeserving as his.
If you're in a relationship with a divorced guy, particularly one who had an exceptionally bad marriage and messy divorce, it can be a little hard to not feel like you're doing him a favour by allowing him another chance at happiness and true love.
But here's the thing: almost everyone has had an unhealthy or unsuccessful romantic relationship. Probably even you. Those relationships end and people move on, carrying with them good and bad memories, a little bit of baggage and irreplaceable life lessons. Your partner simply had to endure a divorce before moving on. You're not doing him a favour by dating him.
2. Don't Obsess Over His Ex
No matter how long he's been divorced, you probably feel like you're competing with his ex and naturally, you'll wonder how you measure up. Does she have a better career than you? Does she have a more vibrant social life, thinner thighs or a cleaner house? Luckily for you, a quick internet search can answer all this and more.
Don't do it though. Absolutely no good can come obsessing over his ex. First of all, while there may be a tiny part of your significant other that will always be slightly in love with her, that marriage ended for a reason. Analysing each similarity and difference is a waste of your time. Second, the more time you spend pouring over her Instagram and Facebook pages, the more you'll feel like you know her. The more you feel like you know her, the more freedom you will feel to criticise her. Not only does this make you look shallow and catty, but it may also put your partner in a position where he feels that he has to defend her. No one wants that.
3. Respect His Financial Commitments
As it turns out, getting a divorce can be pretty expensive. Between legal fees, court fees, dividing up assets and possibly even child maintenance payments, your significant other may not have much left for extravagant weekend getaways and romantic dinners. By adjusting your expectations and being willing to respect his unique financial commitments, you can save both yourself and your significant other from some uncomfortable conversations.
4. Be Willing to Take Things Slowly
Your partner is likely still feeling a wide range of both positive and negative emotions over a marriage that ended in divorce. Depending on when and how the marriage ended and the circumstances surrounding the decision, he may be feeling shame, relief, guilt or all the above. Understandably, he's going to feel a little apprehensive about pursuing another relationship. Be willing to let the relationship milestones come at a slower pace.
Entering back into the dating world can be intimidating, especially if you have been through a divorce. Fortunately, Love2Date Divorced Singles makes it easier than ever to connect with other singles in your area. We offer a wide range of dating communities, including one just for divorced singles. Signing up is free, so create your profile today to start meeting singles in your area.