Mousy. Invisible. Wallflower.
These are all common words used to describe shy folks, because they describe people who simply don't stand out. Unsurprisingly, when dating, not standing out is usually a negative. While it may be a negative for getting a date, it isn't necessarily a negative for actually dating someone. In fact, shy people may easily be some of the best girlfriends and boyfriends available. Here are 5 reasons you may want to date someone who is shy.
1. You Spend More Time Learning About Them
If you have ever dated, you have probably noticed that the early part of a relationship, while you are still getting to know your partner, is often the best part of the relationship. Every new thing you learn is exciting and the discovery process is lots of fun. Dating tends to become less exciting once the discovery phase is over.
Because shy people don't share much about themselves, they are effectively blank slates when you first start dating. And because they are shy, the discovery process is likely to be slower than normal. This all results in that heart thumping, exciting discovery phase of the relationship lasting much longer than usual.
2. Shy People Are Unlikely to Cheat
Shy people are simply less social than others and socialisation is usually the start of most relationships. Outgoing people simply meet lots more people and are more likely to engage in the type of social interactions that could potentially lead to cheating. Shy people are almost certainly just as likely to cheat as any normal person, given the opportunity and right situation, but because they are shy they simply don't find themselves in that situation as often.
3. You Value Independence in a Partner
As previously discussed, shy people spend less time with other people. Due to this, they generally have become more independent, relying on only themselves for their needs. Thus, a shy partner is unlikely to be only in the relationship for your money, is more likely to pay for dates (or split a check), and is unlikely to be clingy.
4. You Don't Want to be Pressured Into Sex
Some may think this point applies to only women, but the truth is that there are lots of men who prefer to take dating slowly and save sex for later in the relationship. In fact, differing ideas of pacing in terms of intimacy are one of the most common reasons for a relationship to end.
With a shy partner, you can pretty much be sure that your partner expects a slower pace and that is an advantage, because it makes it easy to be on the same wavelength as your partner on this important relationship issue. Shy people tend to understand the idea of needing space, so even if your shy partner is actually more sexually aggressive than you, he or she is almost certain to respect your needs once you verbalise them.
While on this topic, it is important to note that shy people are not significantly more likely to be virgins than outgoing people. They have the same needs and wants for human intimacy as others and generally lose their virginity at roughly the same time as most people. If your goal is to date a virgin, you probably want extremely religious partners rather than shy partners.
5. You Are Looking For True Love
Shy people certainly date less than outgoing people, but that doesn't mean they don't date well. In fact, they generally have higher quality relationships overall, specifically because they are so picky about who they interact with. They eschew the shotgun method of dating that results in lots of bad dates that never reach a second date. If a shy person agrees to go on a date with you, odds are they have already judged you to be a high quality candidate and those first dates are much more likely to result in a long term relationship.
Additionally, if a shy person says the words "I love you" or any variation, you can almost be certain they are telling the truth. A small number will say it simply because they are scared of ending up alone, but that is rare. Most are independent, highly aware, honest people that only share something that emotionally powerful with someone that they trust with all of their being.
Thus, if you are looking for true love, you should try dating a shy person that catches your interest. If you discover that you really fit together, it is a good chance that you have found a life-long relationship.