You and your friends share everything; your taste in music, your favourite restaurants, your political views…and significant others?
Obviously you wouldn't (knowingly) date the same person at the same time (if that's the case, kindly show your waffling not-quite-partner this article). But is it ever okay to date a friend's ex? Probably not; however, if you're reading this, then you're probably already weighing the pros and cons of doing just that.
There are few things to consider before turning someone's past lover into your current lover. Let's dive in, shall we?
How's Your Friendship?
How long have you and your friend known each other? Are you close, or are you acquaintances that happen to share the same circle of friends? If you never saw them again, would you notice or care?
Your relationship with your friend requires some careful consideration. Why? Because dating their ex may very well bring it to an end. Before moving forward, decide whether the relationship is worth the drama that it may introduce into your life. Whether you've grown up with your friend or you met them last year, there are some things that just break the unwritten laws of friendship. Dating an ex is one of those things.
But the universe has spoken. And who are you to challenge true love? If you truly believe, even after witnessing a painful breakup and all the events that led up to that, that that's who your life is missing, have a talk with your friend. You don't necessarily have to ask their permission to date their ex; this is more about giving them a heads-up to let them know what is going on. You'll have an opportunity to gauge how they feel about the situation, but remember: even if they say that they're fine with the arrangement, they may change their tune later on.
How Long Ago Did Your Friend and Their Ex Break Up?
How fresh is the breakup? Regardless of how your friend responded to the news of you pining for their ex, the amount of time that has passed since their breakup is important. If they dated and broke up years ago and have since both moved forward, you're probably fine to give the relationship a chance without feeling too much guilt. However, if the relationship ended mere weeks ago and your friend is still lamenting over how everything went down, then you might want to back off a little. This doesn't necessarily mean that you can't date their ex, but it does mean that your friend probably doesn't need too many details.
How Serious Was the Relationship?
Obviously, this one is a big deal. If your friend and your prospective partner were in a long term relationship or engaged to be married, the news of your new romance may come as a bit of a shock. However, if their relationship was more casual and short lived, then breaking the news may not be a big deal because their relationship wasn't a big deal. In other words, the more serious their relationship was, the more careful you're going to have to be.
Once you are actually in a relationship with your friend's ex and everyone is over the initial shock, you may assume that everything is smooth sailing. Not so fast; before you parade your new significant other in front of friends during happy hour, remember how quickly drama can unfold. Be sensitive towards your friend's feelings, and recognise that over time, everything will eventually feel natural and normal.
Have you decided that dating a friend's ex may bring about more drama than you want in your life? If so, then it's time to give online dating a chance. Thanks to Love2Date Singles, it's now easier than ever to take full advantage of the dating pool. Through our lifestyle sites, we help you connect with singles in your area who share your interests, your goals and your values, without compromising any friendships. Signing up is free and easy, so create your profile today to get started.