Shocking though it may be, men and women aren't always on the same page when it comes to dating.
Okay, maybe that's not shocking, but here's something that's a little less obvious. A man and a woman can go on a date—eat at the same restaurant, share the same experiences, engage in the same conversation—and have completely different takes on it.
Clearly, not every woman is looking for the same thing in a relationship, and not every woman is attracted to the same "type." What one woman considers to be a deal breaker may not even catch the attention of another woman. So, for the sake of this article, we'll just say that you are a man interested in a potentially serious, committed and long-term relationship with a woman who is looking for the same.
1. You Probably Think We're Impressed by a "Tough Guy" Exterior. You're Probably Wrong.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to make a good impression with your date. Here's the thing though: too many men, when they're trying to impress a woman, devolve into some kind of caveman-esque macho caricature of themselves by bragging about how much they drink or how much money they spend, dealing with other people too aggressively or swearing excessively. While these may be things that would impress another guy, your date is unlikely to care. Even worse, your posturing may be a huge turn-off.
Obviously, ideally your date will be impressed by you. However, she's more likely to be impressed by how polite you are to your server at a restaurant, how close of a relationship you have with parents and siblings and how intelligent you are.
Side note: reverse psychology doesn't work here. Acting like you don't care about whether or not your date is impressed by you doesn't make you irresistible. It just makes you seem like a jerk.
2. You Care About Your Bank Account More Than We Do
In a similar vein, you care about your finances far more than (most) women. For some men, there's an underlying assumption that women are only interested in a partner that makes a lot of money. Granted, if a woman had to choose between a rich guy and a homeless guy, the homeless guy probably wouldn't have much of a chance. But just as you're interested in more than your date's bra size, most women care about more than just your bank account.
Are there women that are simply looking for someone who will lavish them with gifts, take them on expensive dates and basically just improve their overall quality of life? Of course there are. But is that true of most women? Definitely not.
3. Sometimes We Actually Want to Pay
Most women are impressed by a gentleman, but that doesn't mean that the burden of paying for a date always falls on you. Especially if you and your partner have gone on several dates, it's perfectly acceptable to trade off on who pays for a date. Be willing to let her pay for the date sometimes or decide that you will each pay your own way.
4. You Should Make the First Move
We're all for supporting and encouraging confident women. However, the truth is that a majority of women will still wait for the man to initiate contact. Whether you and she have yet to go on a date or you still haven't communicated after a first or second date, there's a decent chance that she's waiting on you to pick up the phone. It isn't that it's inappropriate for a woman to make the first move after a date, but it is still the cultural norm for the man to send the first text or make the first phone call. So, if you've procrastinated on contacting her in the name of feminism, then it's probably time to summon your courage and give her a call.
5. We Don't Want to Hear About the Other Women
One of the great things about online dating is that you have an opportunity to date a lot of different people. Many a man, in an effort to inspire awe and maybe a little bit of jealousy, gives a rundown on their recent dating experiences. This is such a bad idea for several reasons. First of all, especially if it's a first date, she probably isn't going to be jealous. After all, she doesn't really know you yet and is still deciding whether you're someone she's even interested in. Second, she'll assume that the story of your date with her will make its debut during the next date you go on. Third, it makes you seem insecure and hungry for validation. Instead of regaling her with stories of past conquests, focus on your date with her.
Ready to put your new insight into a woman's mind to good use? At Love2Date Singles, we make it simple to connect with other singles near you. Signing up is easy and free, and you can create a profile today to get started.